THIS ARTICLE IS A 2 PART SERIES DUE TO FORMATTING RESTRAINTS. PLEASE READ PART 1 FIRST to learn about local Momma Kelly Loney, her story and what she's doing on July 29th to honor her son Ethan Joseph Loney!
Part 1
and
Part 2
Part 1
and
Part 2
Debby: Kelly,the site says, "Each weekday in the United States, 46 mothers are told that their child has cancer." Hence the name of the event. I think it's all of our worst fears. Every little sniffle scares us and that's the truth. Kelly I know that the event wants to wipe out pediatric cancer and the opportunity for ANY parent to ever hear those terrible words, "Your child has cancer." As someone in the trenches... what do you offer those Mommas who just heard those terrible words?
Kelly: I reach out to all moms going through this, it is the worst thing you can ever hear. I remember always watching the St Jude Hospital commercials crying my eyes out going how do those parents do this, never once thinking one day it would be my husband and I. I am currently working on volunteering at Children's Hospital hoping to help parents and to volunteer with doing activities with the children so parents can have some time.
Ethan was never in the hospital alone, my husband worked unless Ethan was having a surgery or bad day, Sarah was babysat by many family and friends while I laid in the hospital with my baby boy. Also we were lucky our friends and family always had a benefit going on that Ken and I and Sarah were able to be with Ethan during this terrible journey.
Ethan was never in the hospital alone, my husband worked unless Ethan was having a surgery or bad day, Sarah was babysat by many family and friends while I laid in the hospital with my baby boy. Also we were lucky our friends and family always had a benefit going on that Ken and I and Sarah were able to be with Ethan during this terrible journey.
Debby: Kelly is there anyone/ anything else that keeps you going? Participating in events such as 46 Mommas is such a beautiful way to honor Ethan, but I know it's a minute by minute struggle for you as it would be for any of us.
Kelly: My husband Ken has been my rock, this really tests a marriage but we work hard and let each other grieve differently but also we know we need to lean on each other.
Also a big person that has helped to lesson my pain and be there for me everyday is our beautiful daughter Sarah. She is 4 years old and is full of energy, supports me totally when I am having a bad day. Funny to think she and ethan would be 4 years old right now, since they were 9 ½ months apart due to her prematurity.
I struggle daily but I know I need to be here for my family and that ethan would want me to be living. He would not want me to be bitter, mean and sad all the time, he would want his mommy to fight like heck for him and to live life to its fullest.
I write letters to Tthan through my blog:
ETHAN BUG'S BLOG ( http://ethanbugsblog.blogspot.com/ )
I write letters to Tthan through my blog:
ETHAN BUG'S BLOG ( http://ethanbugsblog.blogspot.com/ )
This helps to relieve some of the pain and sadness, and I feel so good blogging for others to see that might need some help. ( Please feel free to visit and comment on Kelly's blog. )
Debby: I know you recently participated in a speaking engagement. Tell me more about that. Was it helpful to you? Do you think you have speaking engagements in your future?
Kelly: Ken and I spoke at the Children's Hospital Memorial Service, mostly I spoke and I made it through. I never spoke in public like this at all before Ethan died. But when I get a chance I do speak for Ethan and the many others fighting or that are in heaven. We spoke about our marriage and how it has survived the loss of a child and also we spoke about our friends and family and how you need to let them help and comfort you, it may not always be right but it is good to know they care. I would love to speak again and if anyone ever asked me to I would, I felt that this has helped me therapeutically. And also I know ethan is proud!!!
Debby: Do you find that as time goes on you're more able to dedicate more of your life to causes such as this? Do you have future plans to continue to participate in opportunities / causes that give you and Ethan a voice?
Kelly: Yes I plan to always donate to St Baldricks and CureSearch for Children's Cancer just as we do March of Dimes every year for Sarah. And yes as time goes by I find myself doing more and trying to think of ways to fundraise and give to these and to other foundations set up by parents that have lost a child. As my friend sarah stonebraker and friends have set up a foundation called “For the Love of Kadie."
I will never stop fighting for this cause, I told ethan I would fight until the day I die for him.
I will never stop fighting for this cause, I told ethan I would fight until the day I die for him.
Debby: Last, Kelly sometimes I'm sure people don't think they ever have the right words to comfort you with or even the RIGHT to say anything to you. People might see you in Giant Eagle tomorrow though, that's the true story. You're a REAL mom here in our community not just a story on a page and it's likely someone will recognize you from the press you'll receive from articles such as ours or even future press.
Do you have any advice for people who have loved ones and friends affected by or going through cancer. If they see you in Giant Eagle for instance do you want them to say hello? As far as loved ones, is it important for them to KEEP saying things, even a few years later? What's your advice for all of us struggling to let loved ones know... we're here.
Kelly: Oh if anyone ever sees me please stop me introduce yourself, let me know you heard about Ethans story or that you helped by donating. I love hearing that Ethan has touched someone life in some way.
I never want my family or friends to stop talking about Ethan, he is our beautiful loving caring son that is not with us physically, but he will never leave my heart. I talk about him constantly, sometimes I think I talk about him too much. But it helps. It is so hard going through your days and seeing a family of four thinking that would be us today.
And my advice is talk with your friends and family about the person that died or is going through cancer, do not shy away. That hurt me more than anything when some of my friends shyed away, did not call as much, I needed them. But I do not they will come back when they are ready.
What wonderful insight from our local warrior Mom Kelly Loney, fighting to annialate pediatric cancer so that YOU don't ever have to be in her position. Please check out Kelly's sites and support her efforts, hug your children really tight and by all means say hello to Kelly if you ever run into her! Good luck to you Kelly Loney from all the Mommas here at Macaroni Kid of Pittsburgh LLC.
Upcoming Events :
Looking for WALKERS/ SUPPORTERS
AUGUST 25TH, 2012
BOYCE PARK
CURESEARCH walk for Children's Cancer - TEAM LOVEBUGS
MORE INFO HERE
